Never, Always

Still thinking through what this post will be. Thoughts of "never been" have been running through my mind for quite some time now. Is the difference between "never been" and "always have" simply a matter of perspective and choice of words, or is there a deeper truth?

This feels like the riskiest writing so far. It also feels like it could be the most meaningful. Why not take risks? Like yoga, you need to stretch and be willing to fall if you want to grow and become stronger.

There are certain labels, specifically salutations, that no longer seem to make sense. In fact, they can be misleading and potentially confusing. This refers to: Mr, Mrs, Miss and Ms. Cannot believe we still use these. Rarely now do online forms force you to choose such a designation. Mr - from the time a young man is a teenager, this salutation applies regardless of his age or marital status. Leaving out Mrs, we have the exact opposite with Miss and Ms. For years, anyone calling me "Miss Downs" (which only ever is men) is a clear indicator of disdain masked in politeness. Beyond irksome, yet valued for the insight into attitudes.

Ms similarly annoys (and simply sounds awful) while being primarily an attempt to diminish any potential slight in not being a Mrs or no longer young. It is all simply too absurd. Wishing the whole world would drop these salutations as I have done for years. Beyond a side note, the more impactful implications are potential alienation of individuals in the LGBTQ community.

There are exceptions. When sending cards to couples, especially newly weds - it may be a pleasure for them to see Mr and Mrs - and also for some persons from older generations who cherish this preference. The wish is for it to be the exception rather than customary - similar to someone preferring a nick name. "Please call me Mrs, my wife prefers it" said the lawyer to his banker.

Mr- Master

Mrs - a man's wife

Miss - Mistress

Ms - nonsense

Madam I am Adam - palindrome

"Be the one thing you think you cannot do.

Fail at it. Try again.

Do better the second time.

The only people who never tumble are those who

never mount the high wire.

This is your moment. Own it."

Oprah

You have to love her. Every day is the day. Every opportunity is the opportunity. Why be afraid if we only have today?

The above are the list of recommendations for our next barre and books club meeting. We selected Autumn by Ali Smith. I started this journal for our club. The page preceding this has notes from each person who attended our gathering at Morningside Kitchen on Sunday: Jan, Maureen, Amy and Newana.

Fascinating quote from today's NYT (Feb 23, 2018)

"The key to biathlon is focusing on your own process and tasks and not being distracted by the potential outcome or how others are performing. 'I think that is a principle that applies to really everything,' Egan says. 'I think such a big part of this is focusing on what you are doing. You have to let go of how everyone else is doing, and focus on your own work.”

Clare Egan, Olympic Biathlete